I believe it was 1975 when the state of Illinois passed a law allowing cars to turn right at red lights. Very soon after signs began appearing at many intersections that said "no right turn on red" Okay, I can understand that some busy , high speed intersections can be dangerous. But soon after that other signs began appearing underneath the "no right turn on red" signs. In smaller print these new signs said "When pedestrians are present" Hey , I think that is already a main rule of the road.
They actually teach that in Driver's Ed. In the book it expressly says "Don't maim or kill pedestrians. It's really, really bad". Not only shouldn't you run over people while turning right, but also when turning left, going straight, backing up and even when parking.
Do we really need signs that tell you not to do something and then tell you that , yes it's okay to do something, unless of course you shouldn't because you may violate a law. And you don't want to break a law.
And that's not the only sign under the "no right turn on red". You may come across this sign underneath the "No right turn on red" sign:
"On school days when children are present"
Recently, I was horrified at running over a child during a turn. I quickly jammed on my brakes in the middle of traffic and pulled out my calender. Boy, was I relieved to find that it was Martin Luther King day and there was no school that day. I drove away feeling pleased at having taught that child an important lesson. I'm sure he won't be trying to cross a street again on a non-school day!
How about this poetic gem? "Click it or Ticket" Not click it because we're concerned for your safety. No. Just do it or pay! That's right, just because we said so.
Or one of my favorites "Buckle up. It's the law" Hey , thanks for the heads up. Got any other laws you can inform me about? How about a sign that says "No drive by shootings. It's the law" or isn't that important enough to remind people? or maybe "No prostitutes from here to corner unless you pay off local cop. It's the unwritten law"
My all time favorite is this one: "Don't drive drunk" Can this possibly work?Isn't it a little late? If a drunk is driving will he be able to read it without crashing into it? Or will the drunk say "Holy crap, It says not to do this. I better pull into a parking lot and sleep it off" I know what you're saying. The sign is for people who are not drunk yet! Well I'm not sure how many people get their legal and moral education by reading road signs, but my guess is somewhere less than one. And what would that be like? Would some woman about to have her 5th mojito say " I saw a sign before that said not to drink and drive, so forget that drink. I'm stopping now"
And "don't drive drunk" unfairly excludes driving after other impairments.
How about "no driving after taking crack cocaine" or "no driving after abusing prescription drugs"? Or " Don't drive while blind" Or "Don't let your monkey drive"?
There are getting to be so many signs that we are running out of space. So, I have developed the combo sign. Now each sign can have multiple messages. Here are some examples:
"Don't kill, but adopt a stray puppy"
"Don't steal - use birth control"
"Don't commit armed robbery and don't litter"
" Be an Illinois governor and be honest"
I think I would like to own the sign contract with the state of Illinios
