Sometimes I'm not sure what I want to write about next, so I'm just
going to write a stream of consciousness and see what emerges.
When
I sleep too long I say "I overslept". If I wake up too early have I
underslept?. Hmm, my spell check left red squiggles under underslept.
Have I invented a new word? On a related note, people sleep in, but
never sleep out.
Why do people say "I'm screwed" when something
bad happens? Most people I know like screwing. When my friends and I
were young and single, getting screwed often involved high fives all
around, not depression. On a related note , is getting one's brains
screwed out a good thing?I don't know. Does this mean smart people don't
get their brains screwed out? Once out, do they ooze back in?
Punctuation is very important in conveying a clear meaning. For example, consider these two options:
1 - Eat shit and die.
2 - Eat, shit and die.
Number
1 indicates partaking a meal of feces and then passing away, while
number 2 indicates eating an unspecified meal followed by bowel emptying
and then dying. While neither option has a happy outcome, the first
sounds distasteful . By the way it is possible to eat, die and shit.
Consider this expression of surprise:
Holy
mackerel! What's so special about a mackerel? What about holy rainbow
trout?Holy goldfish? Holy shark? Holy jellyfish?I'd continue, but you
see where I'm going.By the way, why leave out land animals? How about
holy dog?Holy horse?Okay, holy cat for you cat people.
Did Picasso play with himself by pulling on his ear? If you don't get it, I suggest you look at some of his"work".
Do psychics know what I'm going to write next?
Why do girl scout cookies taste so good? You know if you open a sleeve of thin mints, you're going to finish them.
I wish my food could talk to me and tell me what is really in it. Or maybe I don't
Why
do people think that the cells in their bodies know the difference
between natural and unnatural sugar?Dd they think that there are little
committees inside each cell that can tell which five or six carbon ring
is man made?
How many people who take blood "thinners" know that they are also taking rat poison?
Donut
shops sell donut holes. Why don't bagel shops sell bagel holes. Red
squiggles under donut. I guess I should write doughnut.
I've said
it before, but why do we have silent letters?Why are 34% of French
letters silent?Why did I say 34% when I haven't done the research?
George Washington did not have wooden teeth, but he did have some that he bought from slaves.
Don't say "Hot water heater". It's just a water heater. You don't actually need to heat water that is already hot.
