Streaming Live

Sometimes I'm not sure what I want to write about next, so I'm just going to write a stream of consciousness and see what emerges.
When I sleep too long I say "I overslept". If I wake up too early have I underslept?. Hmm, my spell check left red squiggles under underslept. Have I invented a new word? On a related note, people sleep in, but never sleep out.
Why do people say "I'm screwed" when something bad happens? Most people I know like screwing. When my friends and I were young and single, getting screwed often involved high fives all around, not depression. On a related note , is getting one's brains screwed out a good thing?I don't know. Does this mean smart people don't get their brains screwed out? Once out, do they ooze back in?
Punctuation is very important in conveying a clear meaning. For example, consider these two options:
1 - Eat shit and die.
2 - Eat, shit and die.
Number 1 indicates partaking a meal of feces and then passing away, while number 2 indicates eating an unspecified meal followed by bowel emptying and then dying. While neither option has a happy outcome, the first sounds distasteful . By the way it is possible to eat, die and shit.
Consider this expression of surprise:
Holy mackerel! What's so special about a mackerel? What about holy rainbow trout?Holy goldfish? Holy shark? Holy jellyfish?I'd continue, but you see where I'm going.By the way, why leave out land animals? How about holy dog?Holy horse?Okay, holy cat for you cat people.
Did Picasso play with himself by pulling on his ear? If you don't get it, I suggest you look at some of his"work".
Do psychics know what I'm going to write next?
Why do girl scout cookies taste so good? You know if you open a sleeve of thin mints, you're going to finish them.
I wish my food could talk to me and tell me what is really in it. Or maybe I don't
Why do people think that the cells in their bodies know the difference between natural and unnatural sugar?Dd they think that there are little committees inside each cell that can tell which five or six carbon ring is man made?
How many people who take blood "thinners" know that they are also taking rat poison?
Donut shops sell donut holes. Why don't bagel shops sell bagel holes. Red squiggles under donut. I guess I should write doughnut.
I've said it before, but why do we have silent letters?Why are 34% of French letters silent?Why did I say 34% when I haven't done the research?
George Washington did not have wooden teeth, but he did have some that he bought from slaves.
Don't say "Hot water heater". It's just a water heater. You don't actually need to heat water that is already hot.

Save the Planet - Don't Shower

Fresh water is our most precious natural resource. Considering how important it is to our survival, we should pay more attention to how we tend to squander it. Our bodies are about 70% water and we need to consume a great deal every day. We use it for virtually everything we do from producing food(it takes 10 gallons just to produce a slice of bread),in industry,in agriculture,  for cleaning clothes and for cleaning ourselves.Only 2.5-3% of all water on Earth is fresh water. Of that only about 1% is accessible. The Great lakes accounts for 21% of the world's fresh water.
Americans use about 100 gallons of fresh water per day , while Europeans use about 50 and sub Saharan Africans use about 2-5 gallons. Clearly we don't need to use 100 gallons a day, when others survive on so much less. Now we all have heard jokes about the French using perfume instead of bathing, but maybe we should emulate them. Well, to a degree. After checking these numbers, you may agree.
The typical American shower takes about 8.2 minutes. Multiply this by a typical shower head using 2.1 gallons of water per minute and we Americans use about 17.2 gallons of water per shower.  About 100,000,000 showers are taken each day in America. By skipping one shower a week, we would save 1,720,000,000 gallons of fresh water per week. This adds up to 89,440,000,000 gallons of fresh water saved in a year!
So, in order to help conserve this most important of resources, I am proposing that every Wednesday be declared  "Shower Free Wednesday".
Why Wednesday? I could pick any day, but Wednesday is the middle of the work and school week and, face it, everyone is just trying to get over the hump and no one will notice a little arm pit stench. Just use a little extra deodorant and forget about it. And your skin will thank you for a day without all the drying out from too much bathing.
I'm serious about conserving water, so please share this with everyone on the planet. Make "Shower Free Wednesday" a reality.
Next time I will talk about conserving toilet flushes with "Pee outside Thursday"