Saturday, June 14, 2008

The Shmotte

I put on my second sock and felt the telltale coolness on my heel. Yes, I had a hole in my sock. I pulled off my mutilated sock while simultaneously scanning the room for the primary use for a torn sock.
"Ah, the TV - perfect!"I walked over and carefully dusted the TV.Now that my sock had successfully fulfilled its secondary purpose of being a shmotte, I was able to throw it into the garbage can.
But was I done being thrifty? No! I took off the good sock and put it in the section of my drawer reserved for spare socks. Yes, I thought,because one day another sock of the same type will develop a hole and I will be able to make a pair with my saved sock and the newly widowed sock. Oh how clever!
The conversion of each type of undergarment into a useful shmotte is a time honored tradition. Torn undershorts are also good for dusting. Since they have more material than a sock (I'm not counting thongs) you can do more extensive dusting - maybe even get out the can of lemon pledge. Like the sock, undershorts are normally a one usage shmotte due to their (usually) small size.
The tee shirt is another matter. Its size allows it to be a multi usage shmotte. You can clean the sink, wipe out a tub or even use it to wash your car. The big question is whether or not to wash and reuse it. You must be careful after washing to keep it in the shmotte bucket and not accidentally return it to the wardrobe.
So here you have the shmotte web of life explained.
Or is it shmatte? Or shmotty? Or schmatte?

No comments: