The Martians are hungry

I normally don't comment on anything political, but an interesting tidbit came up and I have to set the record straight. It seems that Congresswoman Michele Bachmann has said publicly that the president is using the migrant children so the US can perform medical experiments on them. She has offered no proof nor has she divulged her sources. You would think a person in congress would be reliable, but I know the reason she will not give proof or sources. I have inside information of my own and I'm going to share it with you so you can know the real unvarnished true story.
  Some of you may know (but most do not) that we are under the sway of the Martians. They give us amazing and useful technology (Do you really believe that those drunken college kids actually invented Google, Facebook, Twitter, smart phones, etc?) and we give them Earth's resources in return. You know like air, water, Chipotle Burritos, etc.. Well, it seems that the Martians have entered a new phase of their 5000 year life cycle. They're  entering a phase where they need to store more energy. Basically they are hungry. And their favorite food? Tender , juicy children, that's what!
  So, after informing president Obama of their needs, the president concocted a brilliant plan. He would allow central american children to enter the US and say things like "I'm hungry" or "I want to go to school in the best country in the world" or "The drug cartels killed my mommy and I'm next". After the ultra rightists accused the the children of being terrorists and murderers and leaches sucking away all of America's resources , money and virgins, the president would whisk them away to the Martians to be made into baby meat stew, macaroni and child brains, and their favorite dessert, iced baby on a stick with chocolate syrup. Martians are suckers for chocolate. Not only would the president solve the migrant problem he so cleverly created , thus being a hero, he would save thousands of american children from being Martian entrees.
  So now you know the real truth, rather than some half baked (Ha Ha -  half baked is a great food pun for this article) unverified, nit wittery from , well a nit wit . Way to go 6th congressional district of Minnesota ! Keep electing entertainment over, I don't know, competence.
See this for more.