Monday, September 3, 2007

The problem with Football

Pro football is the 2nd most popular spectator sport after auto racing - if you can call auto racing a sport. So the NFL probably doesn't need my advice - BUT, they're going to get it anyway.
The games are too goddam long! 45 seconds between each play is way too long. The networks love it. Plenty of time for more commercials. But let me tell you when you have to listen to overly excited fat guys yelling during the 4 replays of each play it gets a little tiring. A replay of a great play is okay. But these guys replay every single play multiple times. Hey, most plays are no big deal. Some of them actually suck. I don't really need to see these plays over and over. From the strong side, from the weak side, from the blimp and from the running back's left testicle. No , I don't need it. And then to hear the analyst screaming with excitement - "Wow, if the linebacker had lined up 8 inches to his left he would have been able to avoid the block and make the tackle". That's the first replay. The second replay goes like this " Watch the left guard turn his head, if the nose tackle had been looking he could have jumped on top of him and drawn an illegal procedure". Now the third replay well that's the really important one. It goes "If the running back had looked back to his left he could have stopped, done a 360 and cut back through the 6 inch opening between those 2 325 pound guys and then it's clear sailing to the end zone". You know what. I don't give a crap. The guy ran for a 2 yard gain. Just shut the hell up! You know it is ok to have an unexpressed thought.
So here's what the NFL needs to do to get me back and enhance the experience for you many millions of fans who don't know your being needlessly bored.
Ready?
Reduce the amount of time between plays from 45 seconds to 25 seconds. It shouldn't be too hard. We're dealing with top professional athletes who are mostly in their 20's. I think they can get back to the line of scrimmage in time. If they're tired maybe some of rarely used back ups can play.
Just 20 seconds - that's all I ask.

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