New Easy to Use Health Program

I  recently lost 27.65 pounds through a disciplined approach to eating and exercising. An accomplishment of which I was proud, but I also felt a bit fatigued by months of effort. So, I took a break. After all what harm could come from a few days of rest, relaxation and gross overeating? Probably nothing, but after 10 weeks of  my break,  I still weighed exactly the same and I felt great. I was baffled, but pleased. What had happened to keep me like this ? Could I have achieved my results without all of the sacrifice? I had to think about this.
  My wife gave me my first clue when she mentioned that lately I had been thrashing around in my sleep at regular intervals. Throwing kicks and punches, stopping for a while and then repeating. Maybe I had restless leg syndrome. Or restless arm and leg syndrome.Or maybe some unexpressed rage. Whatever the catalyst was didn't matter as I realized I was exercising in my sleep!Burning calories, improving my physical conditioning and resting at the same time.
This epiphany(By the way an epiphany is a sudden realization and understanding also commonly referred to as "It hit me like a ton of bricks chocolate covered cherries")lead to my development of the greatest and most pain free weight control and exercise program in the history of mankind(peoplekind? personkind?). All while resting!
I call it -  SLEEPERCISE
This is no fly by night program. I consulted with the world famous husband and wife Chinese doctor team of :doctors Woo Hoo and Otch Hoo. I'm still not sure which was which, but I know Hoo's on first. They are not to be confused with the other famous Doctor Who, who spells his name differently and apparently still flies around the universe in the last remaining phone booth. Why doesn't he get a cell phone and phone home? Well that's two movie and one television reference thrown into one paragraph. How do I do it?
  After minutes of painstaking research we perfected our program which basically changes the "No pain, no gain" mantra into "No pain, no sweat, no diet, no problem"
SLEEPERCISE is now available the public.
I know what you're thinking.
"A world changing program like this is priceless. It must cost thousands of dollars"
"Wrong"
"Hundreds?"
"Nope"
"Nothing?It's free?"
"Sort of"
"What?"
Just think of it as a donation. We don't care about profits. Just donate a measly $20 and we'll share the secrets of SLEEPERCISE with you personally.
Isn't your health and well being and gluttony and laziness worth it?