One thing all people must always remember. Don't talk about genitals in front of your mother! I don't mean to say that you can't call someone a dick. Or a prick. Or a schmuck. Or a putz. Or a weiner. Or a Johnson. Or a cock. Or a pecker. Or a one eyed trouser mouse. Or a baloney pony.
Or . . . well you get the idea.
You can say " I got hit in the nuts" But you can't tell your mother "My nuts were a hit". She just doesn't want to hear that about or from her baby.
You can brag to your friends or a potential date about the size of your manhood, but don't brag to your mother. She'll puke. And don't forget she already knows the truth.
You can tell a friend or your father "My testicles have swollen to the size of grapefruits" They will probably laugh. And maybe even suggest a remedy. But don't tell your mother. She will want to know how your cocktail onions turned into grapefruits, while saying she doesn't want to know.
And as much fun as it may be, please do not tell your mother that you play with your nuts. She definitely doen't want to know that her son can please himself without the possibility of grandchildren. So don't say anything about "spanking the monkey", "flogging the bishop", "beating your meat", "pulling taffy" or my personal eastern european favorite "yanking your yosh".
So no gonad conversations with or in hearing range of your mother. She only wants to think of her son as her innocent little baby.
No comments:
Post a Comment